Barney’s Blatherings
For all their moaning in the run up to the Olympics, we couldn’t get them off the couch and away from the telly, I can’t remember the last time I stepped outside the house for a good walk. Personally, I was slightly disappointed at the lack of variation in the events; after all, once you’ve seen one cycle race, you’ve seen them all. Also, tennis.................we’ve just had Wimbledon, you can have too much tennis.......and football! I was pleased to see they have added new sports though, such as BMX (although it is just a variation of a bike again!) and I wonder if this should not be extended further...perhaps rabbit chasing? It could be a day or night time event. I’d like to see Usain chase a rabbit and catch it. It wouldn’t happen; he may have speed, but not rabbit speed. Unlike myself of course - I would have the capability of catching a rabbit at full pelt, especially if it’s trapped within my garden and my belly was a little lighter. My brother Mutley has caught several recently from a sitting position; all are motionless and smell, some might say already in a state of decay from dying several weeks previously from myxomatosis! On reflection, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him catch a live one! I was alarmed to see a small spandex suit being brought out of the cupboard - no one needs a spandex suit for rabbit chasing. Fortunately it wasn’t for me......in fact, they squeezed themselves in to one each and proceeded to jog around the garden. The scene remained alarming and an impressive 35 minute mile was achieved.......but no rabbits caught. Instead they went to the pub to rehydrate! The spandex suit novelty has since worn off and the Olympics a distant memory for them.....but not for me. My dream is still very much alive. So here’s to Rio 2016 Rabbit Chasing. Come on Mutley....Mutley wake up.....we’ve got training to do.
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